I am sitting here, listening to something high in the wall scratching around (a mouse? a ferrett? a bird on the roof?), looking out the windows, vaguely aware of faint voices, human interactions taking place outside or in other people's homes (only feet away, but so very anonymous). Tonight my goal is to pound out a five-page paper I'd like to turn in tomorrow and cross off my list. It's not going so well.

In a few minutes I will scrub potatoes for either baking or boiling (do you all have a preference?). I have some low fat cream cheese I'm thinking would make a really lovely addition to mashed taters, but I've also been kind of lusting after baked potatoes with their skins rubbed in olive oil and kosher salt. I bought a steak to cook in a skillet, and will toss a salad with strips of red bell pepper and cook some green beans or limas. This will be a proper dinner. We will listen to classical music and drink very cold water.

I'm feeling sorrow in my heart again today, but I'm really very thankful for these things:

- the red cloth binding on my copy of Love by Toni Morrison, and the chance to write a paper next week that plays in all of the novel's ambiguities.
- four loads of laundry washed and dried (or drying) and folded and put away. Even the socks matched and tucked into their drawers.
- a high of 70 tomorrow? seriously? Shall I teach in flip flops?
- the stability of a manilla folder full of notes and outlines waiting to be expanded.
- Josh's recent flurry of kindness, even though he's been sick: the man washed our floors, shopped for groceries, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, ordered and procured fabulous takeout, and brought me coffee -- all in the last few days. We were cranky at each other this morning, but it only takes a moment of reflection to make me see how blessed I am. Plus, he's pretty smart and listens to me ramble about books he's never read.
- The news that Starbucks is giving perks to those who register their gift cards, like free refills on brewed coffee and free fancy drinks if you buy a pound of coffee.
- a blog to type in as warmup/procrastination.
- readers.

Seriously, though, answer me three questions:
1. best potatoes?
2. best hot beverage?
3. worst laundry experience.

home again

From Tuesday until Saturday I was in Michigan--not exactly how I planned to spend Spring Break, but everso worth it. We found out Wednesday that my suddenly quite sick grandma has cancer, and then we spent Wednesday through Saturday in the hospital, pilfering nurses' station coffee (not the best) and hanging out. Thursday night I stayed with Grandma, and I think my favorite part was sitting on the edge of her bed together to watch the sunrise. The sky was overcast, and it looked like God had his finger on a dimmer switch and was slowly pulling up the dim blue light over the winter trees.

Josh's huge comprehensive M.A. exam is Wednesday at 10:00, so now that I'm home I'm trying to be a supportive housemate and let him choose the music and read at the lunch table. Tonight I made him pork chops, wild rice, and peas, with pecan bars for dessert. We'll eat them soon. They're basically naughty and delicious cheater pecan pie...mmmm.

And that, my friends, is that. Please pray for my grandma and for my Josh.

Sula is a tricky little bit of lit

Well. I'm working on a paper about Toni Morrison's second book, Sula. Let's just say it's kicking my smarty-pants behind. Enough of that.

In the meantime, I am baking potatoes in the oven, and I've just this moment realized how formative the scent of baking potatoes was in my childhood. Tonight Josh and I will eat them, like we did then, with sour cream and salt and pepper, and a salad drenched in Italian dressing. Which means, of course, that I have an excuse to leave Sula for a while and wash some lettuce.

What is your dinner tonight?

gratitude attitude (friday edition)

Today, along with the hope of thirty-something-degree weather this weekend, I am thankful for:

* clanking, warming radiators

* emails from friends and family

* yesterday's 4:00 tea break

* gals coming over tonight for chili with lots of yellow bell peppers in it (and beans soaking on the stove in preparation)

* Betsy-Tacy books

* Michigan gala apples

* clean pants